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23 July 2008 @ 22:36
Shattered, Chapter Five  
Yes, I'm aware I don't post nearly often enough to keep a fanbase. I'm trying to change that and I'm in the mood to start writing again. I'd gotten into a mental place where I didn't feel like writing whatsoever, which would be clearly reflected in the story. I think it was good I took a break, but now I should be back. I'm sorry that I've kept you waiting (if I still have anyone left, that is).

Title: Shattered
Author: Bri, awesomazing
Rating: T
Word count: Chapter 5 – 2322
Current total - 8585
Summary/authors notes: "Joe," he kept on, he was passed listening to me and I was passed caring. He had been pacing back and forth in the tiny space for the last ten minutes, muttering to himself, his hand running through his hair occasionally. "Joe," I repeated; no response. "Joe! ... JOE." He stopped in his tracks and spun around to face me. It was then that he gave me the dirtiest look I have ever received in my entire life. You would have thought I had just ripped his own life from his hands. I felt my jaw slacken and my eyes began to fill, I might as well have been slapped in the face. I closed my mouth, blinked my eyes, stood up and walked away, never glancing back to mentally capture a final picture of the face I loved. As soon as the door closed behind me, I heard glass being thrown against it, shattering: probably the vase of tulips which had been sitting beside me only moments before.

(Chapter One)
(Chapter Two)
(Chapter Three)
(Chapter Four)

SNAP. My mind was suddenly alert, awoken to the sounds of a camera phone snapping a picture, a laugh, then feet scurrying away. Disorientation doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt, I don’t think I’d ever slept like this previously and I wasn’t quite sure why I felt so odd. Lazily, I opened one of my eyes to take in my surroundings, I was on my couch and I was laying against a really comfortable pillow. I opened my other eye… I was laying on someone. I quickly closed them, who was I laying on?! My mind slowly retraced the night before, I had come downstairs expecting everyone to be away in bed, but Joe had still been up. I had decided to sit with him while he watched tv and then… I must have fallen asleep?

Despite the awkwardness of falling asleep on another person, I was content, that was one of the best nights of sleep I’d had in a long time. I snuggled my head back into his shoulder, attempting to return to my previous dream like state. That’s when I felt him yawn and his grip subconsciously squeeze my arm, I hadn’t even noticed he had his arm around me before. I kept my eyes closed during this encounter, what if we both suddenly were face to face and this entire situation left an awkward effect on everything? That wouldn’t be good.

He laughed softly and I could feel his eyes upon me. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes, moving my head so that I was now looking directly in his brown eyes. “Morning, sleepy head,” he said, smiling. His voice was slightly scratchy, as voices are after waking up.

“Good morning.”

He looked down at me, staring at something. I look down at myself, too, wondering what he could be occupying his eyes. I glanced back to his face, “What?”

“You’re wearing my hoodie.” I felt my cheeks warm out of embarrassment, I had been sleeping in his hoodie every night since he had given it to me. What would he say if he knew that?

“Yeah,” I mumbled, my gaze falling upon the hoodie again, “I know.”


They had left ten days previous and I was stuck in school missing them… again. I hated that they had become my favorite people to hang out with, it wasn’t something I was exactly proud of. Yes, I had friends at school, but they weren’t the… same? I don‘t think I‘m making sense. Kevin had been my absolute best friend for a few years now, probably because he didn’t deal with me on a day to day basis, like my other friends so he didn’t get annoyed with me as much. I looked at the clock, six minutes and school would be released. My eyes fell to my English paper, clouded with random doodles, stupid hearts flooding the margins. I never used to draw hearts.

Why should I be excited to leave school for the day? I would just return home to begin a pile of never-ending homework, text Nick a few times, talk on the phone with Kevin, go to sleep, then start all over. Sleep was even becoming overrated; I couldn’t do it. My mind was swarmed with a million silly thoughts, occupying me for at least an hour before I even started to drift into dreamland. Not to mention, each time I’d go to burry my head into the hoodie I’d gotten used to sleeping in, I’d realize I wasn’t wearing it and become disappointed all over again that he'd taken it with him when he left. In order to fall asleep, I’d imagine myself in the hoodie, leaning against Joe’s shoulder. Pathetic much? Yeah, I agree.

He was on my mind a lot after that morning. I would randomly find myself wondering what he was doing, what he was thinking, what his response would be to whatever random question I felt like asking. Those things were always left unanswered, we still didn’t talk on a regular basis, just a random “hello” through the speakers as Kevin talked to me nightly.

The bell rang, disrupting me from my thoughts. That’s another thing that had started happening ever since that day, I was day dreaming. A lot. I snapped back to reality, everyone was handing their papers to the teacher at the front of the room. Mine wasn’t even close to being completed. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts as I gathered my things. I shrugged my back pack onto my shoulders and handed the paper to the teacher, avoiding her eyes as I walked through the door.

I sighed, this day dreaming thing would kill my grades sooner or later -- especially when they consisted of something that could not and would not exist. My idea of perfection was inspired by a single evening of fun and nothing else. He couldn’t like me, he wouldn’t like me, at least in that way. Things would be awkward if I even said something about my ideas, friendships would be ruined. Plus, he was gone all the time, that wouldn’t work. WAIT. What was I even thinking?! I mentally bashed myself, I shouldn’t even be thinking these things. I needed to quit pondering the possibilities. How could I be convinced I liked him in the first place? Maybe I was just wanting a boyfriend… any boy, and he fit that role. Yeah, that was definitely it, I could find a replacement boy in a heart beat.

Pushing my way to the back of the school bus, I grabbed my phone to turn it on. I slipped myself into the last seat and leaned against the window. I wanted to text him, but what to say? I didn’t even know if he was a kid that liked texting in the first place. I could just end up annoying him. I was being ridiculous; I needed to stop thinking about him. Period. I closed my phone, putting it into the front pocket of my jeans. This internal conversation was over.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. I jumped, causing the kid in the seat ahead of me to glare in my direction. “Sorry,” I muttered, as I grabbed my phone from my pocket.

New Text: Nick!” Typical, I should have guessed. He was the only who ever texted me in the first place. I opened it, glad to have something new to focus my mind upon. “Who would win in a fight? Chester the Cheetah or Tony the Tiger?” Really? Was this even a real question? Yeah, Nick would text me randomly in the day, but he usually wasn’t that random. I quickly texted back, “Tony, obviously. He’s GRRRReat.” Hey, I grew up on Frosted Flakes, don’t judge me.

The argument continued for my entire bus ride, Nick was convinced that Chester would dominate. I wouldn’t budge with my support for Tony. As I was getting off the bus, I received a text message saying that Nick had to go and he’d text me back later. Also to not text back, which was kind of weird.

Slowly, I walked towards my desk, not anticipating my homework in the slightest. The day progressed to be the same as each day previous: school, homework, food, shower, homework, get ready for bed, cue the phone call from Kevin.

I had just put on my pajamas when my phone rang.

“Hey, sweetie!” Kevin greeted me, when I picked up first ring. It was ten o’clock, his usual call time.

“Hey, Kevin, what’s up?” I asked as I began sorting my homework into their appropriate folders.

“Nothing really, in Florida for a concert, but it’s over now, we’re an hour ahead of you.”

“Oh yeah, time differences are weird, eh? Ready for bed?”

“Yeah, Joe’s just taking the longest shower ever, but I’m waiting for him to finish so I can take one.”

I laughed without meaning to, “That sounds like Joe. He was telling me about how he takes forever to get ready. I just wouldn’t assume he’d take forever to get ready for bed, as well.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” he chuckled. “Oh yeah, before I forget, was Nick texting you earlier today?”

I furrowed my eyebrows together, why would he need to remember that anyway? “Uhm, yeah?” I answered, hesitantly. “I mean, he’s been texting me more than he usually does, but I just assumed he was getting bored more often.”

I heard the end of the phone being covered as Kevin spoke with a muffled voice. “Yeah, she says you were texting her.” I don’t think I was intended to hear him.

“I told you!” I heard Nick exclaim from what I assumed was across the room. I shook my head, what was the deal?

“Okay, now that’s sorted…”

“Anything exciting today?” he asked, immediately changing the topic.

“Other than the extra one hundred pounds of homework? No. You?” I zipped my backpack and placed it next to my door. I walked towards the bathroom, ready to quickly straighten things up.

“We had to go shoe shopping today, Joe and I were arguing over a pair of shoes.”

I laughed involuntarily again. “I’m willing to bet you should have agreed with Joe. His taste in shoes is incredibly colorful and bright and overall fun…” I trailed, picking up my dirty clothes and putting them in the hamper.

“Sadie, you’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?” I asked, completely clueless.

“Mentioning Joe every other sentence.”

The sock in my hand fell to the floor, and I immediately bent down to grab it. My cheeks were burning, thank goodness Kevin couldn’t see or it would lead to questioning. I didn’t reply, the tone of my voice would probably give me away, too.

“Sadie?” he asked, still no reply. “Do you want to talk about this?” He was attempting to ease me into a conversation I was trying to evade.

I bit my lip, I had to respond, or he would definitely know. “What’s there to talk about?” No, he would definitely know, the pitch of my voice had decided to raise as I spoke, perfect. Stupid, traitorous voice.

“I’m your best friend, I know when something’s up or new, trust me. Now, you can talk to me about this whole situation or you can pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s up to you.”

My gaze fell to the sock in my hand, why did he have to know me so well? It took me only a moment to realize I might as well talk about it with Kevin, he knew me better than anyone else and would be able to potentially give me advice. “I think you already know,” I said, truthfully.

“Yeah, I think I do. I just needed the confirmation.”

“Well, you’re right. I didn’t mean for it to happen, you know that. It just kind of has happened. I wish I could prevent it, y’know? Plus, he wouldn’t like me in the long run, so I’m only setting myself up for disaster.” I was sitting on the counter in front of my mirror now, regarding my face. Emotionless, my honest face.

“Sadie, don’t ever say that. Any boy would be silly not to fall for you, we’re not having this conversation again. I’m just worried about the fact that the outcome won’t be positive for you, he’s gone too much to give you the attention you need.”

I sighed, “I know that. Topic change time?”

“How’s Katie?” he asked instantly, I could fill his smile through the telephone waves. There was nothing I loved more about Kevin than how he could understand how I felt seriously, but change the topic to something happy in a heart beat.

“You want to know about my cat? Really?” I asked, laughing. “She’s good, actually. I think she’s gaining weight, especially with the way she’s been chomping up her food lately.”

He chuckled, “I wish we could have animals, but with the constant traveling, it’s kind of impossible. I have to live vicariously through the relationship of you and Katie.”

“It’s simply amazing when she sleeps on your face. It’s a shame you miss out on not being able to breathe. It’s the most intense feeling ever,” I heard a door open in his room and I swung myself from the counter, flicked the light off, and started towards my own bedroom.

“I’m definitely jealous you get to experience that!”

“Yeah, I’ll chain you two together next time you come over.” I yawned into the phone, ready for sleep, “Right, I think I’m going to go to bed now.”

“Okay, goodnight,” he said. “Say hi to Katie for me.”

“Good-” I began, but was quickly cut off.

“Wait, Joe says there’s something really important to say,” Kevin said. I rolled my eyes, what could really be so important anyway? I pressed my ear to my cell, hearing random noise as the phone changed hands.

“Hold on, I’m going to another room,” Joe said. I rolled my eyes, seriously? Another room? I shrugged my comforter down, sitting upon my bed.

“Okay, you there, Sadie?” he asked, his voice low.

“Yeah. What’s up?” I asked, expecting him to tell me something important, hence the secrecy.

“Oh, just the usual, y’know?”

Actually, I didn’t. “Yeah, that’s cool? Uhm, I’m about to fall asleep actually, so yeah?” Each sentence I spoke somehow became a question with him. I slipped myself into my sheets, awaiting his response.

“Oh, yeah,” he said. How was I supposed to reply to that? I mean, honestly. “Sadie?”

That was something I could reply to. “Yes?” I asked, expecting him to tell me whatever he needed to keep so quiet about.

“Sweet dreams.” Click. And then he was gone, the line disconnected. There was no preventing the stupid smile on my face as my head hit my pillow and I disappeared into dreamland faster than I had all week.
Current Music: simple - katy perry
one track mind like a goldfish.daydreamrachey on 20th August 2008 20:45 (UTC)
This is really good. Keep updating bb. I'll definitely keep reading :D